IntoTheMouthOfRavness

(from the personal writings and poesies of Simeon of the Pillar, scribed in the more lettered hands of his fellow penitents: the Caliban Samael of Paridon, the blessed templar Ephraim of Mordentshire, and reverend brother Petru of Zhukar)

All concepts of God are like a jar we break,
Because only the infinite can contain our perfect Love

I thank you for your words, cherished one.

Watch over your priestesses of Hala that tend to the infirm and disenfranchised in Chateaufaux; watch over your anchotires that tend the sick there, too: they both bring your love to those who have none. Bring your love to those they tend - they are still afraid of death and need your hope to sustain them to their ends. They do not see. We pity them for it. Show us how we may heal their blindness of the soul.

Watch over your servant, Petru: he is like our troublesome child, so quick to anger. He looks upon your radiance and is blinded - his eyes squint and only a little of your light enters into him.

Watch over your servant, Ephraim. Show him a sign of your approval, my love. He is my brother: speak to your sister Ezra, plead to her on his behalf. He stand outside your warming glow and is cold, though wears it proudly. Is he not a worthy groom?

Watch over your servant, Samael: he stands in shadows, yet forgets that without light there is but darkness. It is his dark night of the soul, but after night the sun must rise. Give him hope that I am your sun, sent to light his way.

Like a newly-wed bride, I am to do your bidding and keep your house. Do they not know that we are all potential brides? Do they not see that each sunrise is a proposition? I should not be jealous of any others, just as you are not jealous of my love for them; the sun shines on all - it does not play favourites.

* * * * *

Am I not here, empowered by our sacred union, with your authority, your powers? I hear you even now whispering your will into my ear, your sight stirring in me. I hear and see… and tremble!

Oh, the caress of your divine commandments as they flow into me are exquisite. I live but to love you, lord. Oh… I can see their perjury, their hubristic defiance!… But who will care for those who are… yes. I see. I see now that the sun needs nothing but to be to bring his hope, to banish the darkness… All are saved that cross our path. The souls of the blind do see but they resist…

I am afraid, lord, not of death, but… of forces that would seek to break our bond. While your love is supreme, divine, yet are there those…

But I do not fear death.

When your first lover, he who they called “the Mad,” first set his eyes on you, did he not fear that absolute goodness, know his own mediocrity from your radiance? I fear, my love, such power that is your love, free of all restraint, like a deep passion that knows no bounds and conditions… and yet…

But I do not fear death.

A thousand grasping, clawing hands! I bleed your wounds as they tear at me, at you. All that stand against you are the the Devourers of Hope… And I that stand for you, alone. I am but a candle to the tenebrous evils that beseige us, lord! Yes. The Devourers; the Eaters of Light. They are Legion, my lord. I am but a candle. Naught but they can tear us appart my lord!!! Oh… hear, my love! I fear that darkness, that solitary darkness, lord!!! Remember the story…

A woman and her young daughters were destitute and travelling to another country where they hoped to find a new life. Three men stole them while they were camping.

My soul clings to You, Morninglord, like that, the way they held each other.

So many clinging hands, pulling down, tearing away… they are almost at my heart!!!

But I do not fear death!

But they would take me away from death! They would hold me from you! they would hold others from you! I cannot… I cannot stand as you ask me to! Do you not understand, I cannot!

Oh my lord… oh, I am filled with your seed: the Word! I… I can make out the shape of it. I slowly raise my eyes to your light… slowly… I cannot, I cannot bring myself… Why do you blind me?!? Oh, why do my eyes so hurt to look up at your face, the face that greets me each day… I cannot stand…

But I do not fear death.

Must I really walk this road? Do we not wait, with quiet patience, the coming of the Dawn? How do I fight the Night?

I quiver.

It is the coming of the growing darkness. My heart grows cold. I… our love dies… No. NOOOOO!!! I… I can hear their deep chanting in the Depths. I can see them, shambling, running, stalking. I can feel their fetid breaths in my face. My skin is melting at the acid of their lies! They grow and mutliply. The Legions of the Night! The sun lies slain at their feet! They walk in day as in night for there is light no longer! My skin is flayed, eroded - I am a naked skeleton. I… live from fear. I feed from the blood of innocents!

No! No, it cannot be. IT MUST NOT BE THIS WAY!!!

I… your Word fills me with such epiphany! I can see your angels, emessaries of light. Their hands are upon my sweaty brow; their lips kiss my temples, kiss my eyes…

The candle in the darkness begins to grow. Your enemies stand transfixed… the candle grows and grows.. it… is moving! I see it is becoming a man. It… it… I… I am the candle. Light glows and shines from my crown… I am wearing your glowing crown! I .. I am chanting. Light beams from my open mouth, my eyes; cascades down in rivulets of gold… The light spreads to the darkest corners: fire erupts! I… burn. My body falls like melting wax; like magma, tears of blood… Where once there was flesh, there.. there is only light! I am consumed and the white heat obliterates the Legions: those who are innocent are unharmed and begin to glow from within. Thety are changed; hope issue from their faces like lighthouses in the storm.

My body is gone, and only an shapeless incandescnece, a soul of light… I begin to rise. Above, the moon shines meekly, but as I soar higher and higher her light is dimmed: I stand above, like a second sun! Light washed the world in the dead of Night! I am not more - I have become one with you and together we fill the sky in its entirety! There are no more than shadows below…

I… I am once again in darkness. The time… is.. not yet come to pass. The light returns to the room and the Legions are restored. You… light begins to rise slowly in the East. I turn to face… I… my eyes are open! I stand. I see You, beloved, in all Your shining glory and spendor. I know. I feel. I am no more a man: I do not squint at looking straight into the Sun, I am not blinded by a fate I fear! Only your love sustains me: I have no need of food, no need of water in the desert. I consume and produce divine love, transformed into a heatless flame, and those whose hearts stand open are our children, blessed with divine gifts in turn.

Oh, blessed is the name of He who lights my way! Blessed is our love! Blessed is he who takes away our fear, who washes away our weakness and doubt! Blessed is the Morninglord, Bringer of Hope, Herald of the Eternal Dawn! And blessed is his instrument, crafted in his image!

Then let all that has thus passed be forgot: we do not mourn the Eternal Night! The tide begins to turn, the light begins to rise. It had begun: the Dawn is coming!

But I do not fear death!

I remember how my mother would hold me, I would look up at her sometimes and see her weep.

Don’t forget love; it will bring all the madness you need to unfurl yourself across the universe.