IntoTheMouthOfRavness

Being the adventures of an unlikely group of unsung heroes

from the personal writing and poesies of Simeon of the Pillar 2.7-21

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The words Anchorite, Sentire, Master, Teacher, Biskop, Chanticleer, Priest:
Most of those sporting such a title are just peacocks.

The touchstone is this:
Hold them upside down over a cliff for a few hours.
If they don’t wet their pants maybe you found a real one.

(from the personal writings and poesies of Simeon of the Pillar, scribed in the more lettered hands of his fellow penitents: the Caliban Samael of Paridon, the blessed templar Ephraim of Mordentshire, and reverend brother Petru of Zhukar)

I went to sleep one night and I awoke the next ready to die, washed of fear, filled with deeper wisdom.

There is no secret - love, be loved. In my dreams, we were married. Morninglord, my lover and my beloved, I feel you making love to me: you are inside of me. Let none separate what you have joined together. Where I walk, you are with me. Without knowing it, I bring the dawn in my wake. Others bring it too - it shines through in their smiles of gratitude, of joy, of murth, of peace. Your rising light is like a drop in a still pool: one drop awakens the world to motion. From that drop, like waves, a thousand smiling suns awake.

Session IX: The Curtain Falls

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

And so we come full circle in this tragic comedy we call our lives; and what have we learned? Only that the dance is never done, and despite our awareness of these celestial puppeteers, we are ultimately fated to carry out their designs, and to pay their toll with our sanity.

When Ephraim shook me out of my slumber and my eyes adjusted (preternaturally) to the blanket of shadows in the room, I was somewhat confused by what I saw; Petru sitting on the ledge of the window of our rented room, motioning for silence with one hand while pushing himself off the ledge with the other. I shook my head thinking that the dreamwebs still had me, but soon I came to the conclusion that something strange must be afoot. Symeon ran some cold water from the basin through his hair while Ephraim wasted no time, donning his breastplate and giving me one of those knowing looks that you often see on a fox hound when it has become aware of its prey.

My mandate was clear; I had catch up to little Petru and make certain that he remains unmolested. I found him with relative ease, clearing the distance between us before anyone was the wiser. I came upon him at an intersection in an alley proximate to our Inn, looking in every direction and obviously in pursuit of something sinister. Before he could answer my questions, a sharp wooden bolt landed between us (narrowly missing Pertu’s head) and splintered on the back wall. My instincts thrust my limbs into action before I could even formulate a clear response to the attack; the fatigue and disorientation from my slumber had urged my mind to relinquish my more crucial physical operations to my reflexes.

I shot into the night like a man possessed (ironically enough as you will see later), and rushed to close the distance between us and the culprit behind that wayward murderous shaft of wood. I surmised that the would-be assassin would likely attempt another shot, and reloading his weapon would ideally give me the desired window of opportunity to catch him and ring the meddlesome rascal’s neck. As I came around the bend I spotted the fool throwing life and limb in the opposite direction, a decision that may have saved him in the end had the dreaded Gargoyle not been his pursuer. There is no harm in buying into my own press from time to time I suppose. As I had done a hundred times, I closed in on the interloper with ease, and simply jerked back on his collar, kind of like the schoolmaster at Barnes College used to when he’d come across the unruly sort ( I used to watch him from the University clocktower).

The whelp fell back (like so many before him), the moonlight exposing some of his features as his spine collided with the cold cobble stones. I had expected a shrouded killer, or perhaps a mercenary type with telling scars and the fire of determination in his eyes, but instead I found myself standing over a wretched bag of bones, skin and foul-smelling rags; a common street dwelling gutter rat, with barely two blackened teeth to his name. This could not be the man, I gathered, but then the metallic glint of his weapon came into view, as did the small quarrel of spare bolts hanging off his curiously out-of-place steel-buckled belt, and those items shed all remaining doubt.

Before I could move in to restrain him, the man began to shift and claw at himself in a rather disconcerting way. I had seen disheveled rubbish like him perform this grotesque ritual whenever they would catch sight of a night bird showcasing her feminine accoutrements (or lack thereof) in the streets of the Black Chapel district of Paridon, but I must admit that even I, a creature of human abomination and fear, felt completely confounded and somewhat embarrassed as this filthy man stared at me with his bloodshot eyes while reaching for the contents of his sullied trousers. This bloody fool was madder than Timori sewer rat, little doubt to that effect I think.

I put an abrupt end to his ghastly behavior with a blunt stomp of my left boot to his chest (a response the schoolmaster would have surely approved of), and knocked the wind right out of the offensive bugger. Petru arrived at that moment, quickly assessing the situation and concluding with a nod of his head that we indeed had the right man. That’s when our gruesome friend decided to give us another disturbing rendition, this time performing a remarkably well-rehearsed portion of Lawrence Wright’s Falling Into Hell instead of his earlier perverted contortions, which I would’ve likened more to the stylings of a pig rolling in its excrements.

It was quite comical at first, the way his arms flew to all sides, his body thrashing as if he had caught the nasty end of an electric eel (whichever end that may be). Soon however, his convulsions started to become downright frightening, and by the time Symeon and Ephraim emerged from the shadows to engage our prey, the whelp’s body was snapping back and forth with such violence, that even my vaunted strength could not hold him at bay.

A possession, Symeon called it, and Ephraim agreed wholeheartedly. A kind of vicious and supernatural violation of one’s body by some dark metaphysical entity, with the purpose of twisting men into acts of depravity. Possession was a phenomenon often diagnosed by the more “devoted” members of the clergy according to Symeon, but rarely diagnosed acurately. There was however little doubt that we were witnessing the genuine article here. I almost felt pity for the wretch until my musings were interrupted by a sudden jerk of his torso, giving way to a strange vaporous discharge from his mouth and nostrils (his soul?). It was all over after that. His body went limp and the savage snarling gave way to the faint breathing rhythm of unconsciousness.

Symeon and Ephraim, being the philanthropists that they are convinced me and Petru to deliver the batter dirty shell to a nearby hospice for Chateaufaux invalids. I left the delivery to my worthy companions while I perched myself up on the hospice’s roof to keep a vigil over the proceedings. Something was stirring in the air, and chill along my spine did nothing to diminish my suspicions. Barley ten minutes after Symeon and company had entered the hospice, another curious visitor entered into my field of perception. An older man, perhaps a commoner with some property to his name by the looks of his casually brushed brown jacket. I watched him calmly make his way into the alley that I was looming over and approach the window to the hospice, doing his utmost to overhear the conversations going on inside without arousing suspicion.

His amateurish ways nearly caused me to emit a hiss in his direction; I felt like a court composer being subjected to the tone-deaf wailing of a one-eyed drunken sailor. I stayed my hand at first, waiting to see if perhaps this had all been a misunderstanding; if indeed this unfortunate had perhaps only wondered into the alley for a moment’s rest form his regular routine. But blast it all, there was just no other reason for him standing there, and my reflexes urged me once again without seeking permission from my intellect. I landed behind the pathetic spy without a sound, a curious trick I had never managed before on account of my considerable frame (more introspection later). With an easy movement I snatched up my victim a la Samael; one arm over the chest to hold the bugger fast, the other hand wrapped around his face, depriving him of considerable sensory information.

The strangest thing happened then, as I turned my back to the alley to withdraw into the darkness for a little entre-nous with our illustrious intruder, the man did not offer up resistance. To be perfectly accurate, he did get jumpy when I first grabbed him, but as soon as I let him get a glimpse of me in the window reflection, he all but let himself fall to pieces in my grasp. Ephraim and the others had spotted me from within and came to join me in the side alley to investigate the nature of what now represented the second intrusion on our business in a day’s time. I eased the man to his feet and gave him the berth required to be interrogated efficiently, which Petru was good enough to facilitate by looking into the man’s eyes and waving a fist in his general direction. What information this man would volunteer is still a cause of great discomfort to me until this very day.

Instead of panic or worry, the man simply bowed his head to Petru and calmly began to explain that he was a representative of an unnamed society that wished to, and I stumble on the word even as I write them, discuss the terms under which his people might be allowed to “purchase” me from Symeon, Ephraim and Petru (whom were presumably my owners!). More astonishing than this man’s absolute non-chalance during his discourse, was the term he used to describe me: Caliban, he called me. A word I had never heard before, but somehow felt to be derogatory. I can safely say that my companions were as puzzled as I to hear this man offer financial terms as if he were bargaining for a bail of tobacco, while he looked at us wide-eyed and grinning at me like some kind of opiated jackal.

According to his tirade, I was something of a rare and prized commodity to “his people” and their “goddess”, whom I could only surmise was some fictional cult deity of his choosing. And if his audacity and insolence had not been sufficient to drive even the gentle Ephraim to unclasp his scabbard, this fool even offered us a glimpse into my future as one of his people’s possessions by describing what his mistress had had in mind for me.

“We will drain him of all his holy secretions and yoke his supernatural gifts to increase our power!”

There was one particular secretion, or rather excretion that I considered imparting on this lunatic at that precise moment, but my rage was somehow overwhelmed by curiosity regarding his choice of words. The world Caiban had not been used with regards to me specifically, and so I began to deduce what I had always suspected in the heart of me; there were others with my so-called condition. Perhaps not fashioned from the same clay, but nevertheless common to me in more ways than normal men. My mind was racing; I wanted to know what this man knew. I wanted to follow him into whatever dark pit he had no doubt emerged from and perhaps enen answer an existential question or two while I dismantled his sickening rable by tearing their so-called goddess limb-from-limb, as they all looked on helplessly.

I awoke from my daydream when Symeon tapped me on the shoulder, and I realized that Ephraim and Petru were talking to me.

“Samael, would you like us to give you a little privacy with this man so that you may converse with him in a more intimate manner?”

Bless their hearts, they knew me for the beast that I could be, but for the first time in my life, violence occurred to me only as a last resort.

As if by divine comedy, the moment I turned to face the diminutive madman before me, he too began to shake and convulse like his predecessor. His eyes rolled back into his head in the same repulsive fashion, and he fell to the ground stricken with seizures nearly identical to the man we had just delivered to Hala’s hospice. After a moment’s time it was over for him as well, and while Ephraim and Petru returned to the shelter to add this one to the list of Dementlieu’s disenfranchised, Petru and I walked back to our room at the Inn to mull over things and formulate a plan of action. I noticed Petru looking on with an air of concern as we closed in on our destination, but as I would find out later that day; his thoughts had not been primarily preoccupied by our strange run-ins of late, as much as they were by his own private agenda.

Who knew Petru could be such a devious little schemer? I certainly did. Once relaxed with a cup of hot wine (of laughable quality, alas), and some cold cheeses we withdrew from our rations, I settled my immediate concerns and gave Petru the opening he needed to engage me with his ideas. I had expected to hear some interesting things out of my favorite little revolutionary, and he certainly did not disappoint, that much I can certify.

Petru told me about his homeland of G’henna, a desolate place by his former accounts, and all the suffering and oppression that unfolded there on a daily basis thanks to the misguided worship of some form of destroyer entity called Zakata (I believe he said), and his foul enforcer, the black sorcerer Yagno Petrovna. For a moment I feared that my dear companion was about to go on one of his usual bile-laced diatribes regarding the suffering of his unfortunate people and so forth, and in all honesty I didn’t so much mind the prospect of hearing about someone else’s burdens for a little while.

Instead of the usual fare, Petru shared with me a very curious bit of information regarding some of the lesser-known inhabitants of his nation. He described to me a demography of men, women and children in G’henna referred to by the locals as “beast-men”. A blighted grouping of misfortunate people that had come under the eye of Petrovna and his minions, whom in turn had visited terrible tortures and manipulations on their physiologies. Manipulations that had an awfully familiar ring to them from where I was standing. Petru assured me that these deformed men had been marginalized and cast out from what G’hennan’s consider their society, and despite their status as little more than animals was a matter that he wished dearly to rectify.

Hold on, say I! Petru the merciful? The man who called for vengeance in his every waking hour, this fiery little human with plans to burn his country’s churches to the ground, talking to me of clemency for the poor unfortunate beast-men of G’henna, and equal rights for all of Nature’s children? Oh for sure, but I hadn’t yet understood his plan, that devious little scoundrel.

“When I return to my homeland and set the fire of my people’s revolution under Pertovna`s cursed corpse, I will need generals to rally the forces of justice behind me Samael. These beast-men have been dealt a harsh lot in life, but they can be redeemed with the proper guidance, with the proper leadership. Samael, I need a general…”

I was speechless. Where I had once seen a good-hearted (if naïve) and resolute saboteur with delusions of leading his people to topple their oppressive regime, now stood a stout-hearted freedom fighter. I understood then that Petru had had all us for fools up until this moment. This shrewd bastard knew exactly what he was doing, and he had been planning things from the start. He hadn’t been tagging along for his enjoyment all these months, oh no, not little Petru of G’henna. He had been forging alliances with foreign powers (namely me, Ephraim and Symeon) like a skilled diplomat or tactician. There had been purpose in every moment he had spent in our company.

I wanted to strangle the duplicitous lout, but I was too overcome with admiration for his cunning and subterfuge. Well played you spotty rascal, I told myself, well played indeed. The worst part was of course that he had succeeded in arousing my curiosity about these so called beast-men, and therein laid my inability to fault him for his scheming. Other queations also crept into my mind at that moment; if I was to theoretically lead his monster armies into battle in this coming revolt, what role did Petru have in store for our other two companions? What role did he envision for himself? Did our valiant soldier of justice intend to lay down arms on the day of victory, or did he perhaps have more human designs for the throne of G’henna?

I felt another chill on my spine, and told him that I would consider his words for now. With more pressing matters at hand, Petru’s clever machinations would have to wait for later. We had been thrust into a mystery without time for preparation, and we would not be caught with our trousers undone a third time; secret death cults be damned.

Our investigations would lead us back to the scene of Symeon and Petru’s violent thrashing at the hands of those anonymous brutes a few day ago; we stood in the night in view of our old acquaintance, Lord Brass’ opium den on the Main boulevard. The plan was simple enough; Petru goes in to have a look, I skulk about in the rafters as I am predisposed to do, and Ephraim and Symeon await any sign of trouble from the outside. I snuck in through a second-story window (where I had surprised Charles the caretaker two days previous) and hid among the curtains while Petru made a more direct approach.

Petru would encounter a man within the confines of Brass’ club who would open our eyes fully to the goings-on in Chateaufaux; one Jean-Jacques of Port-a-Lucine. A well-kept young fellow with manner and education, Jean-Jacques would reveal to Petru in an impromptu conversation that he had seen all of us in one of his dreams (he did not seem to be jesting). Dreams unlike those experienced by normal men and women, he claimed. JJ not only knew of us and of me in particular, but he seemed to possess intimate knowledge of our friends from the dark cult of the goddess. He claimed in an hushed but excited voice that these cultists were fiendish pawns of ancient and inexplicable powerful outer-entities called Deep Ones, that corrupted the world and sought to overwhelm it, to bring about a new age of darkness and madness (or something to that effect). Charming bunch, I thought to myself, no wonder they wanted me along for the ride!

Jean-Jacques’ further explanations would also have to wait for a later time as he beseeched Petru to round us up and travel with him to visit an Invidian acquaintance of his in Port-a-Lucine; a mesmerist, coincidently enough (I had proposed to the others that we seek one out to unlock the mystery of our unexplained adventures in Falkovnia) that would help us finally make sense of things.

I had heard enough and retreated back up through the access to the roof that I had taken earlier, only to have my thoughts abruptly cut short by the sound of a rattling of wood-on-stone and yelling from beyond. I moved to the front of the building, standing perched from Brass’ roof, trying to make sense of the events unfolding before me. Petru and Jean-Jacques had converged outside to talk further about their plans as Symeon and Ephraim approached them cautiously. The noise I had heard had come from a large four-horse-driven heavy coach that had shot out of the evening mist, headed without a doubt straight toward my unsuspecting companions.

Ephraim and Symeon had fortunately seen it in time, but Petru and JJ would have both been reduced to bloody mush had Petru not shoved Jean-Jacques into the nearby alley, and taken a tremendous impact from the oncoming horses. The coach halted and out came a couple of well dressed ruffians, pistols at the ready and murder in their eyes. The shot at JJ had its desired effect, sending the poor bastard flying in a spray of crimson. This was the call to arms for all of us, and I was positively itching to make my presence felt.

I leapt from the roof toward the carriage, landing in a loud crash and splintering the damned thing into a hundred pieces with my girth. The panic was sufficient for my compatriots to do the rest, and before we knew it we were on our way to Port-a-Lucine with several wounded and a prisoner in tow.

What we found in Port-a-Lucine is doubtlessly a tale for another time…

The Confessions of Ephraim Ulster, part 3

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

O Ezra, hear the prayers of this humble sinner.

Lord, I am guilty of the sin of pride. A tension has been growing in me over the past weeks, making me feel as though there has been some event, some happening that is just around the corner and waiting for me to discover it. Then my companions and I found ourselves in a situation strange indeed: we awoke in a Falkovnian prison along with three score strangers, with no memory of the three months that had passed.

After reflection, I saw that this was a test of our faith. And if it was not, as the wise Brother Emil used to tell me, it was a good idea to treat it as though it were. I prayed for guidance and kept up with the rituals of cleanliness and purity as proscribed by Your divine grace. I knew immediately that these prisoners had to be freed. Knowing what I do of Falkovnian law, many or most of these prisoners were guilty of no wrong-doing. As is written in your third book of scripture, it is a greater sin to imprison an innocent than to release a criminal into society — I knew that even if it meant I was freeing evildoers I was obligated to free the innocents among the prisoners.

I am disgusted by my attempts to curry favour with You, Lord. I freed many people on our last day there, and saw many fall, but I fear my motives were not pure. I fear along with my desire to help the unjustly imprisoned was a drive to raise myself in Your estimation, to prove my worth as Your dedicated servant. Such a self-serving attitude is why I may never be among the ranks of Your Chosen.

But no, I shall not give up, for I have accepted You into my heart and I know Your love is boundless. I will consult with the friars at Ste Mere Des Larmes and meditate with them on the nature of my faith. I have found their insight useful in the past, and perhaps they can even help me unravel the mystery of what happened during our missing three months.

In the name of Our Guardian in the Mists, protect us as we walk the pathways of this world and guide us to those of the next. Forgive our sins and grant us the wisdom to forgive ourselves.

Amen.

Session VIII: Curtains of Reality

Monday, February 6, 2006

There one minute, and gone the next; an expression some use to describe the rare moments in life that slip through our fingers all too quickly. The unfortunate brevity of a perfect moment of joy, or in our case, near-catastrophic disaster.

There we were, Petru, Ephraim and I, cradling our unfortunate Symeon who had tempted the gods of fire a second time by walking straight into an arcane booby trap. His beloved Morninglord failed to heed the call on this occasion, leaving his most faithful servant to experience the full brunt of the magical blaze. It was then, at that precise moment when we set his injured body down on the floor of the catacombs that everything faded to black. I do not mean that our torches failed or that my lantern surrendered its light. No, it was a sensation that lasted a mere fraction of a moment, like a cool kerchief being set over your eyes during a fever; a kind of moist tranquility, a gradual loss of substance. Everything around us, simply ceased to exist, and Hunadora, the world even, simply disappeared. Pure rubbish, you say? I feel a sincere temptation to concur. But alas I lived it, and the memory of it remains until today as kind of stern reminder not to ever dismiss what you cannot explain.

When I awoke it was to the familiar darkness and stench of captivity. Somehow, inexplicably, transported to another place, subdued, bound and confined to the trappings of a dungeon cell. All my instincts exploded at once, my childhood traumas crying out in concert in protest of this violation. But the thick chains that held me fast like those depictions of captured Sri Raji elephants, soon sapped my strength, which had somehow decreased by fatigue (I first thought). I had no choice but to hang there, powerless and ashamed. I imagined myself displayed like a living trophy, hanging on the hunting lodge wall, waiting anxiously to meet my hosts that I may personally give them my regards for their hospitality. When the light finally poured into my holding cell, I was positively watering at the mouth for the promise of justifiable homicide. Imagine my shock and surprise when a bunch of Falkovnians came through the door and instead of ripping them to shreds the second that my irons were off, I cowered like a starved rat and obeyed their every command. Some other oddities fell upon me as I caught a glimpse of myself in one soldier’s helmet glare; my remaining hair had fallen out completely and unless the distorted reflection was fooling me, I had somehow gotten at least 4 stone lighter in the arms, torso and legs. By Jove I looked almost human in proportion!

They unchained me, seemingly without fear of reprisal, and led me at sword’s length (good to see that some things were still the same!) through a series of corridors, then up a set of spiraling stairs to a portal that would lead us to open ground. As if things couldn’t get more deuced perplexing, when the light of day and fresh air washed over my face, I came to the conclusion that some months must have gone by. We were now well into summer months by the feel of it, yet when my compatriots and I had ventured into Hunadora, the chill of winter had been still upon us. There was no doubting it now, we had been abducted or rendered unconscious by some wicked incantation, and transported, or perhaps sold off into slavery while our minds were elsewhere. I had so many questions at that moment that my eyes began to swell, but they would have to wait until later, for in the distance I saw another group of prisoners being led outside, and among their numbers I counted my dear friends and compatriots, disheveled and as confused as I, but otherwise none worse for wear.

We were, by all the markings of it, prisoners of a small mountain mining facility. There were three hastily erected guard post towers to our east, west and south, maned by two crossbowmen each. A guard barracks lay unceremoniously built near the mouth of a mine shaft that we had all presumably contributed to furthering. By the behavior of the other prisoners and the guards, it seemed like this was simply another routine day of work in the name of the glorious empire of Falkovnia. I could tell however that my companions had experienced the same traumatic displacement as I, and despite all appearances, we all felt on the brink of losing our wits to this incomprehensible madness. When we finally managed to consult on the matter (as we were put to work like common slaves), we all agreed that something well distanced from all things natural had transpired to bring us into this sordid state of affairs. We had only questions unfortunately, and few answers to meet them. In the end we agreed to concentrate on the more immediate tasks at hand; that being the exact circumstances of imminent our escape.

Under Symeon’s advisement, we took stock of our surroundings, and tried as best as we could to gather information from the others for the better part of a week before deciding on a tactic. I grew more and more impatient during those days, wanting desperately to visit my vengeance upon those that so unfairly dismantled us, and those that now held the other end of the whips. In the end, for all our planning, it was a random act of brutality that sparked the flames of rebellion within our ranks. A guard that lost his patience with an elderly slave who dared to protest the indignities forced upon him. With a swift strike of his blade the Falkovnian silenced the old petitioner, and unknowingly rekindled the fires of our collective retribution. I was upon the bastard before he could draw breath, and my brothers wasted no time to support my initiative. Symeon unleashed a cloud of mist from his hands and mouth, frightening the prisoners around him half to death and obfuscating our uprisal from the tower vigils. Like a pair of trained panthers, Ephraim and Petru slipped into the embrace of the mists and made short work of our captors with cunning and expert swordsmanship. Soon our numbers swelled as the death cries of the Falkovnians brought some of the more troublesome prisoners to life, and they began to make themselves useful to our revolution. Symeon had a plan by the looks of it, and when I saw him head for the gate mechanism, my mission became clear: to neutralize the crossbowmen before they could cause us considerable harm from their fortified vantage points. I’m happy to report that our bloody revolt met with significant success. Despite some heavy losses on our side, ones that I don’t necessarily mourn as much as Symeon says I should, they turned the tide with their lives I suppose, and that deserve some recognition at the end of the day. We didn’t waste too much time celebrating as we did our best to organize and supply the survivors with rations and clothes from the barracks, and proceeded to beat a hasty retreat from the mining fortress, bound for the Musarde river.

Our destination was Dementlieu, a place I had visited before and taken quite a liking to. So much of that wondrous city reminded me of home; a cleaner, brighter, slightly-less-sophisticated Paridon. Dementlieu could have been my homeland once upon a time, before the famines and the infestation of our sewers (and our Parliament!). I was the one that pushed for us to flee in that direction for reasons that only became clear to me as I sneaked across the Falkovnian limits. I didn’t tell my companions this, but while I was separated from their ranks (so they could cross the border without incident), I came across a Falkovnian scout dragging a slain elf back to what I presumed was his base camp. I avoided detection despite my temptation to add one more falconhead to my list of crimes, but I did observe him for a while and came to a few conclusions that now seem completely irrelevant to the scout and his prey.

There is a formula to humanity. A series of patterns, building blocks, if you will, that make men what they are. My father understood this and he sought to take things a step further. I cannot condone or forgive what he has done to me; the normalcy that he denied me, the price that his manipulations exacted on my mother. And while I may never fully understand what was done to me, and the exact purpose behind my conception, I now believe that with study, with careful consideration and experimentation, I can unlock the secrets of my existence, and make right the terrible wrongs that have been committed against me. In short I plan to undertake the greatest task that had ever been undertaken by one quasi-man; I plan to finish what my father started, and reclaim my humanity in the same stroke. How, you ask? Impossible! Preposterous! Indeed, a fool’s errand by any measure. Folly stacked upon madness, served up on a platter of insanity. But I am confident that it can be done. I have the key to this knowledge encoded within my very being. There is a formula to my inhumanity, and come hell or high water, by all the power vested in me, I will break this secret code and become more than anyone, even the High Templars of the Circle, even my own creator could ever fathom. Ah, but all great endeavors must be birthed in humility and careful planning, and I have so little of either right at this moment.

When we finally reached civilization in Dementlieu, even Ephraim didn’t protest when we all promptly shot through the doors of the first tavern in sight (alas he still wouldn’t drink a drop of the real stuff that blasted stubborn man!). We took some time to unwind and to try to make sense of the bizarre events that had unfolded in the past weeks. Our questions merely led to more questions again, and as much as I wanted to know the truth about our mystical transplantation from Hunadora to the mountains of Falkovnia, I was just glad to be done with the whole mess and ready to put it well behind me. As Fate often does, something unexpected jammed the door to the past right as I was planning to bolt it shut.

Of all the people I thought we would run into again at some juncture or other, Lord Brass of Mordentshire was not one of them. The enigmatic aristocratic entrepreneur had happened upon us for the second time now, and I could see in Petru’s eyes that he shared all of my suspicions. His Lordship was kind enough to share a meal with us and extend an invitation to the grand opening of his new “gentleman’s club”, which we accepted with mixed attitudes. I had suggested to Symeon and the others that we should give the Lord the benefit of the doubt based on our past business with him (which did yield us sizable reward), and also I shared with them a curious idea that I had had while reflecting on our recent misadventures in Falkovnia. Namely that we take advantage of our developed surroundings and search around for what some call a “mentalist” or “hypnotist” back in my homeland. Finding such a specialist, in my opinion, could potentially help us unlock some more immediate mysteries I would think. More food for thought.

We visited Brass’ new establishment the following evening with the best of intentions, and everything seemed prim and proper until a curious and somewhat familiar scent caught my nose on our way up to the lounging area. Blast it all, that conniving scoundrel Brass had opened Dementlieu’s first opium den! I had to contain my laughter when I looked at the expressions on the faces of my companions. Ephraim, true to his calling immediately understood the depravity of the place, and while he could not make sense of all of it, he could detect the decadence and corruption making they way up his nostrils and turned on heels with a wave of the hand to go back to our inn. Symeon and Petru, to my eternal delight and entertainment, looked like a couple of lost children at a carnival, wide-eyed and unable to decide if they should be joining the festivities or running for their lives. Fortunately for them, they had a host with experience among them, and despite the fact that I’ve always suspected opium of being detrimental to one’s health, this was too much of an opportunity for entertainment to pass up. Before we knew it, the three of us were laid out like freshly peeled fur with euphoric smiles, giggling like newborn babes in the arms of their favorite parent. What fools were were, what an idiot I allowed myself to become.

When I awoke from my dream-state, I was alone in the room. Syemon and Petru were gone and had left no message or trace of their whereabouts to me. The servant girl confirmed this, and I should have rung her little deceitful twig of a neck right then and there for being so transparent. Alas, my wits had not fully completed their return trip and I dismissed the whole affair as some sort of misunderstanding. I was bloody thirsty too and famished beyond belief, and decided to indulge in a square meal with a pitcher of cool Lamordian beer, followed by a good cigar or two. Lord Barss’ club had seduced me by all appearances, otherwise I would have never walked, talked or feasted so plainly in sight of regulars. Surprisingly they did not react to me with the customary revulsion, and one fellow named Henry (like the half-blind mouse I kept as pet when I was a young ling) even sat down with me for a game of cards and some polite conversation. I should have suspected that something was up, I was plainly having more fun than any one man, thing, whatever, should be allowed to have. It was almost with a quiet understanding that I turned to face my friend Petru as he limped through the club’s threshold with one eye shut and swollen, dried blood caking his hair and lips and what seemed like a fractured forearm. His ribs, I later discovered had been abused as well, and he showed me three of his aft teeth that had been actually crushed from the vicious thrashing that he had experienced earlier that night while I lay oblivious and dreaming in the den upstairs. Petru was in a complete funk as one’ might expect, sword at his hip and ready to commit justice most foul on the one’s responsible (or anyone connected with the incident for that matter). Symeon, he told me, had gotten it even worse that Petru and he now rested unconscious back at the inn with a shattered nose, cracked sternum and 4 broken fingers. I should like to have a word or to with this Morniglord and that Ezra character regarding the intricacies of tending to one’s faithful flock; perhaps bring a matter or two to their exalted attention.

The next day Ephraim and I investigated the attack; Petru and Symeon described three large ruffians that reportedly snatched them right from their couches at the club and brought them to a nearby alley to work on them. Ephraim took the direct approach and questioned a certain Charles that claimed to be the caretaker of Brass’ club in the absence of his lordship, while I skulked and intruded upon the establishment by way of its roof, and gave Charles a bit of a scare as I interrogated him in my practiced fashion (I pulled him into the curtain and threatened his life if he didn’t tell me everything he knew). His answers surprised me to say the least, he had apparently no knowledge of the attackers or how they had been allowed to commit such an offense under the noses of his competent staff, but he was good enough to point out a secret passage in the building that the ruffians very likely used to make their exit. He was real sport actually, compliant and wise enough to answer directly without attempting to catch a glance of his oppressor. Charles was the kind of man that made being a monster an almost respectable line of work. My business concluded, I helped myself to some sensitive documents from the upstairs office, including a copy of the club’s deed that might shed light into this nefarious occurrence, and perhaps allow us to deliver the culprits to Petru’s vengeance. I would very much like to see someone else deal out swift justice for once.

Let us see where this path takes us next…

The Confessions of Ephraim Ulster, part 2

Monday, January 16, 2006

O Ezra, hear the prayers of this humble sinner.

Lord, I committed a grave sin today: I took Your name in vain. Faced with a spirit rushing at me, I had the choice to either close my mind against it or look it in the eyes and risk whatever horrors lay beyond them. I breathed a prayer and stared the pour soul down, and the shock of it drove to my core. I was entirely unprepared for the viciousness of the imagery I saw, for its brutality. I got a glimpse of the last part of the poor womans’s life, tainted with a flood of emotion, the despair that accompanied her execution. I will attempt to recount what I experienced for, as Father Avram says, retelling a traumatic experience sometimes helps to ease it.

This woman — I did not learn her name from what I saw — was a concubine of the late Duke Gundar. She was treated well enough so long as she was young and beautiful: she was fed enough to keep her plump and she was clothed in silks. She bore the duke a bastard, but when she got too old to appeal to the duke she was put to the sword in the most ignoble way imaginable. This woman’s life, despite plentiful food and pretty clothes, was miserable. She never knew the son she bore: as soon as he was weaned he was taken away to be raised as a noble, and she never even got to hear him call her “mother”.

The high estimation people have for Your servant Avram is well founded, for he is a wiser man than I will ever be. Already I feel the horror and shock draining from my mind, being replaced by sorrow at the sadness this woman lived. And shame at my own sin, which caused me to weaken. When I called out Your name, just before the spirit struck me, I had not given myself entirely into Your protection. There was a part of me that felt that my own strength of will was enough to save me from the madness I saw glimmering in those eyes. Even then I knew I was wrong, that the only thing I can be certain of is Your love.

As penance, I vow to henceforth avoid coming into contact with the dead, whether they be physically tangible or mist-like, as was this one. I shall never again willingly allow my flesh to touch the dead flesh of any creature, man or beast. I hope that this penance will be deemed sufficient in Your eyes.

In the name of Our Guardian in the Mists, protect us as we walk the pathways of this world and guide us to those of the next. Forgive our sins and grant us the wisdom to forgive ourselves.

Amen.